DARKIES' SUNDAY SCHOOL
Young folks, old folks, everybody come,
Join the darkies' Sunday School, make yourself at home,
Please to check your chewing gun and razors at the door,
And you'll hear some Bible stories that you've never heard before.
Shadrak, Meshak, and Abednego
Wouldn't obey the king, so they had to go,
King put 'em in a furnace, to burn 'em up like chaff,
But theyhad asbestos b.v.d.'s and gave the king a laugh.
The world was made in six days and finished on the seventh,
According to the contract, it should have been the eleventh;
But the painters wouldn't paint and the workers wouldn't work,
So the quickest thing to do was fill it in with dirt.
Adam was the first man that ever was invented,
He lived all his life and never was contented;
He was made out of mud in the days gone by,
And hung on the fence in the sun to dry.
Adam was a gardener and Eve, she was his spouse,
They got the sack for stealing fruit and went to keeping house.
They lived a very quiet life and peacful in the main
Until they had a baby and started raising Cain.
Noah was a mariner who sailed around the sea
With a half a dozen wives and a big menagerie.
He failed the first season when it rained for forty days
For in that sort of weather no circus ever pays.
Esau was a cowboy of the wild and woolly make,
Half the farm belonged to him and half belonged to Jake
Now Esau thought his title to the farm was none to clear,
So he sold it out to Jakey for a sandwich and a beer.
Joseph was shepherd, too, he kept his father's goats,
His father used to dress him in the very loudest coats.
His brothers they got jealous and threw him in a well
Joseph went to Heaven and the other's went to ____.
Pharaoh had a daughter, she had a winsome smile,
She found the infant Moses a-floating on the Nile.
She took him to her father with the old familiar tale,
Which is just about as probable as Jonah and the whale.
Jonah was an emigrant, so runs the Bible tale;
He took a steerage passage on a transatlantic whale;
Jonah in the belly of the whale felt quite compressed,
So he pushed a little button and the whale did the rest.
Samson was a husky guy as everyone should know,
He used to lift five hundred pounds as strongman for the show.
One week the bill was rotten and the actors had a souse,
But the strong man act of Samson's, it just brought down the house.
David was a shepherd boy, a plucky little cuss;
Along came Goliath a-looking for a fuss;
David took a slinkie and socked him on the crust,
Goliath reeled a couple of times and then he bit the dust.
Solomon was a wise man, he had a lot of cash,
Queen of Sheba came along and Solly made a mash.
I guess he thought that royalty was rather underpaid
For he took to writing proverbs though he was a king by trade.
Ahab had a lively wife whose name was Jezebel,
When looking out the window, to the dogs below she fell.
"She's gone to the dogs," the people told the king;
Ahab said, he never heard of such a doggone thing.
God made Satan, Satan made sin,
God made a hot place to put Satan in.
Satan didn't like it so he said he wouldn't stay,
He's been acting like the devil ever since that day.
Daniel was a prophet, he wuoldn't obey the king,
The king said to him, "This is a naughty thing."
Put him in the lion's den with lions down beneath,
But Daniel was an artist and he drew the lion's teeth.
Salome was a dancer and she danced before the king,
She wiggled and she wobbled and she shook most everything.
The king says to Salome, "We'll have no scandal here."
"The hell we won't," Salomi said and kicked the chandelier.
from "Song Fest", Best, published by the Intercollegiate Outing Club Assoc.