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THE BOASTER D A7 D A7 D I've been to gay Paree, where the women at half past three A7 Come strolling along where the boys belong A7 D Hollering ta-rara-boom-teeyay; I've danced the oyster can, down on the American plan; I shed great tears when I got three years For stealing a couple of extra steers; I've been to Kansas C.; I've been out on a spree; I've been in jail and out on bail And I've been on a ship that would not sail; I've been to Ohio, likewise to Buffalo, Indianapolis, Cincinnata, Louisville and Camay-o; I've been up in a balloon; I've been to a saloon; I've been in a soak and I've been dead broke And I drank and I drank till I thought I would croak, And I've been an awful dude, and sometimes rather rude; I've had hard luck and I've been dead stuck And I've been the driver of a two-horse truck; I've been in many a scrap; I've had a real hard slap; Mine eyes have been draped in mourning and crepe; For a year and a half I've been stuck on the shakes; I've slept in bum hotels, paid prices that were swell, Slept in bum beds and dying bled And chasing the bedbugs round my head; Played bumper once or twice, with cards and shaking dice; Bet a house and a lot and a fourteen-spot; I pulled my leg plumb full of knots; I've often played baseball; I've been umpire and all; Been hit with clubs and sticks and bricks And bounded about in a terrible fix; Been to Chicago too, that place where the wind was rude; I went to a fair where they clipped my hair And charged me a dollar an inch for air; I've been down on the track, at a racehorse not too crack; Bet a ten or two on a horse I knew But the horse dropped dead and he never came to; I've lived on pork and beans; I've slept in rooms thirteen; Been out at night and I've seen the sights And I've hit the pike by the candlelight; I've been to Salt Lake too; 'twas the only place I knew Where the girls are beauties and they does their duties And they chews the gum called the Tuttsi-Frutties; I've been to Indi-ann; I've stepped on a banann; I slipped, I fell, I hurt like hell, But the words I used I must not tell; I also rode a wheel, and I run on an automobile; I made a gold strike and I had a prizefight And since that night I've never been right; I fought for the blue and the gray; I've slept on a bale of hay; I drove a mule, taught public school, But I never could find that golden rule; I drank red lemonade that's made with a posthole spade; I've shot snipes by electric lights And I marched with the Salvation Army at night; I've been in politics, too; oh, how the money flew; In Tammany Hall I had a close call, But I never could learn to sing "After the Ball"; I've been where I didn't belong; you've heard this lovely song; Now these are all facts, but I made some cracks And I'll get it in the neck where the two men got the ax. Deseret String Band (Salt Lake City) @humor filename[ BOASTR RPf |
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