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THE MAN WHO SELLS INSURANCE
(as recorded by Frank Crumit 1935)

I used to be as happy as a squirrel in a tree,
Till a man who sold insurance made a nervous wreck of me.
He followed me persistently, and if I'm put away,
That bird who sold insurance made me what I am today.

cho: (last 3 lines change)
For there's no-one with endurance
Like the man who sells insurance.
He's everybody's best friend.
He will follow you and fret you,
But remember he will get you,
For he gets us all in the end.

In spite of every way I tried to leave him in the lurch,
He chased me in the subway and he followed me to church.
I even spent a night in jail in my desire to hide,
But in the morning George Insurance was waiting just outside.

cho: ... he'll be sweeter than molasses,
But when he puts on his glasses,
He gets us all in the end.

One day at Coney Island when I went in for a swim,
A man swam up beside me who was no-one else but him.
Said he to me, "I'm glad to see you love the ocean wave,
But our 20-year endowment is the only way to save."

cho: ... he's always bright and snappy,
And no wonder that he's happy,
For he gets us all in the end.

One day I saw him coming so I quickly climbed a tree,
But George Insurance saw me too and climbed up after me.
Said he to me up in the tree: "I'm fond of nature too,
But our 20-year endowment is the policy for you."

cho: ... and the harder that you make it,
Believe me he can take it,
For he gets us all in the end.

filename[ INSURANC
Feb07

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