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MY MOTHER DOESN'T KNOW I'M ON THE STAGE (Billy Bennett) I'm cherishing a secret in my bosom About the dreadful stage-life that I lead I've heard it said that Pro's are decent people But according to the papers that I read Both actresses and actors are dead 'wrong-uns' Whether from the 'Palace' or the 'Hippodrome' The chaps I meet outside know I'm an actor But I never breathe a word of it at home. So, my mother doesn't know that I'm an actor It would break her poor old heart if she found out She knows I'm a deserter, From the Scottish Fuseliers She knows I stole a blind-man's can... That got me seven years! She knows I've been connected With a gang of West-End Pests And the police have had me twice inside the cage And she knows I mix with ladies that have got a shady past But my mother doesn't know I'm on the stage. Sometimes she sees the powder on my clothing And then it's such a nuisance to explain If she thought that it was powder she'd go crazy Of course, I have to tell her it's cocaine. The day she met me out with Gladys Cooper She started screaming, "Murder!" and "Police!" And would have caused a dreadful scene in public So I told her that the girl was 'Crippen's' niece. 'Cos', my mother doesn't know I'm on the stage And when I draw six hundred pounds a week If she knew where it came from She would shoot me like a dog So I told her I'd stole the moneybox From an Irish Synagogue She can think that I'm a murderer Before she'll know the truth I have to have respect for her old age And she knows that I'm a bigamist, a blaggard and a crook But thank Heaven she don't know I'm on the stage. filename[ MOMSTAGE RG |
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