Nope, Susan, I don't do sheet music either, but the do-re-mi's of the way I learned it (also sung this way by Dominic Behan, I'm pretty sure) are:

(low) sol, do, do, re, LA, do, do, re, LA
There was an old piper, old and hoary
La, do, do, re, la, do, do-mi-sol.
Who lived in the town of Ballaboreen.
(high) do, do-la, sol, sol, mi, re, mi-re, do, (low) la, sol.
This old piper he played before Moses
(low) sol, do, do, do-re, do-re, mi, do.
And this the only tune that he could play.

       (high) do, sol, re-do, la,
     Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah,
     (low) sol-do, do, re-mi, re-do, sol.
     Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.
     (high) do, sol, re-do, la,
     Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah,
     (low) sol-do, do, re-mi, re-do, sooollll(ending in a great descending whinny!).
     Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyyyaaaahhhh!

All the "nyahs" are sung through the nose in as unfavorable an imitation of the pipes as possible.

Gawd, I hope those does 'n rays are close to right! I don't know how to indicate the sliding notes properly, I'm afraid.

Sandy (a musical-klutz and lousy proof-reader, as well) P.S.: I actually like the pipes! Honest!