Regarding #5 above, I have heard that this was written by Isaac Asimov.
(Sung to the tune of HOME ON THE RANGE)
Oh, give me a clone
Of my own flesh and bone
With the Y chromosome changed to X
And when she is grown,
My very own clone,
We'll be of the opposite sex.
CHORUS: Clone, clone of my own,
With the Y chromosome changed to X.
And when we're alone,
Since her mind is my own,
She'll be thinking of nothing but sex.
I stole it from...
http://www.vegsource.com/wwwboard/humor/messages/1072.html
HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 12-Apr-02.