Got this song from my french teacher many years ago.
I seem to remember he translated it from a fench song.
David Dearlove was his name and a local singer,John the Fish,recorded it.
I bet BAZ knows this one.

The Little Husband.

There was a man who made his daughter
Wed a man who was much shorter
He wasn't any size at all
In fact you'd call him rather small.

Standing on tiptoe he was able
To rub noses with her navel
But even that began to pawl
For he was really much too small.

Her mother meant the marriage night meant
That there would be much more excitement
But it was not that way at all
For he was really rather small.

Now she had hoped that with persuasion
He would rise to the occasion
If he would rise,then she would fall
For her man who was so small.

He wasn't like her other lovers
He got lost beneath the covers
She couldn't find him there at all
For he was really far too small.

If he were lost there'd be a scandel
So she sought him with a candle
For she could hear the frantic call
Of her poor man who was so small.

It was by candle not desire
That she set the bed on fire
So that the bed became the pawl
Of her poor man who was so small

She got him out of this misfortune
But to hold him was so scorching
She had to wrap him in a shawl
For he was hot as well as small.

Then she thought she would deposite
Him inside the water closet
Thinking that this would make him cool
Her little man who was so small.

And then she pulled from force of habit
And it drowned him like a rabbit
There was a fizz and that was all
Of her poor man who was so small.

Pity the girl who weds a midget
Who can do no more than fidget
If your tall then never fall
For one who is so small.

For marriage to a pygmy
Leads to tragedy and bigamy
This is a story that is tall
About a man who was so small.

Hope this cheers someones day up!!
^^
Greetings John