SENSITIVE NEW-AGE GUYS
(Words and Music by Christine Lavin and John Gorka, Copyright 1990 CL2 (ASCAP) & Blues Palace Music (ASCAP))

[Words in parentheses are sung by a male chorus.]

Who likes to talk about their feelings?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Who's into crystals, into healing?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Who likes to dress like Richard Simmons?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Who are hard to tell from women?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Who likes to cry at weddings?
Who thinks boxing is upsetting?
Who tapes "The Frugal Gourmet" on their VCR?
Who's got "Baby on Board" stickers on their cars? Oh…
(Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

Whose last names are hyphenated?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Who walked out of "Long Dong Silver," a movie they hated?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Whose consciousness is constantly raising?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Whose low pain threshold is amazing?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Who thinks that red meat is disgusting?
Who's into UFO's channeling, and usting?
Who believes us when we say we've got premenstrual syndrome?
Who doesn't know who plays in the Seattle Kingdome?

Who likes music that's repetitious?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Who likes music that's repetitious?
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Who's concerned about your orgasm?
[silence… then spoken:] (Hey, we're not *that* sensitive.)
Well, I guess it's more important that they have 'em.
(Sensitive new-age guys.)
Who carries the baby on his back?
Who thinks Shirley MacLaine is on the inside track?
Who always sings on sing-alongs,
Even when they can't stand stupid sing-alongs?