You all ready for this???
I'll email it to you, too, Stephen, but Mudcat rules are that you post the words here.
Blessings,
Barbara

BARNEY'S EPIC HOMER
(Leon Rosselson)

Now when Barney was at school they said he'd never make the grade
He was living in a kipper-colored dream
"Barney ought to learn to concentrate", his teachers used to say
As he drifted in the bottom of the stream

Barney was a waster; got no bit of paper
Ended up attending a machine
Turning little piggies into plastic packaged sausages
To sell in the Heliport canteen.

Barney seemed to lack ambition, didn't hear tomorrow's call
Didn't want the overtime for extra pay
He just did his bit of labor when he donned his uniform
While his mind was floating freely far away

It was "Press, turn, screw, lift," early shift and late shift
Every day the same routine
Turning little piggies into plastic packaged sausages
To sell in the Heliport canteen.

It was on a summer's evening, Barney crossed from work to home
With a twisted bit of metal that he'd found
And he stuck it in the garden like a broken totem pole
And he planted piles of pebbles all around

"That boy's no use, must have a screw loose
Think's his bit of metal's gonna grow;"
Barney felt the silence in his head begin to melt
And in his heart a spark of laughter seemed to grow

Barney's game became a passion, all the free time that he had
He was in the garden marking out a space
Piecing broken things together with devotion in his hands
And a sweet seraphic smile on his face

Mother said, "You can't, no", Father said the same, "No, .
Littering our little bit of lawn"
"What are we going to do with him?"
"Why can't he be normal? He's been trouble since the day he was born."

Every day he brought back something
He was nicking things from work
He was pick up what others threw away
Cans and kettles, bricks and bottles, all the refuse of the earth
He assembled in a giant junk display.

Copper wire, car tires, plastic tops, broken rocks
Worn out wheels and one old water tank
"What a silly game to play, what a waste of energy"
"It'd be better if he went and robbed a bank."

Look at Barney's weird contraption high on iron girder legs,
Reaching steel and tin-can feelers [fingers] to the sky
And it wobbles in the breeze as its Belisha Beacon head
Seems to nod and wink at all the passers by

Every day he'd do a bit, every day it grew a bit
Sprouting like a jungle in the rain
The neighbors watched in horror as this multicolored monster
Escaped from his looney-bin brain.

Barney's work began to waver, he was failing his machine
The foreman said he wasn't giving of his best
. So the job enrichment expert analyzed his working speed
And devised a plan to give him many zests:

It was "Press, turn, screw, lift, press, turn, screw, lift "early shift and late shift
Every day the same routine
Turning twice as many piggies into plastic packaged sausages
To sell in the Heliport canteen.

Barney's folly made the neighbors mad, disfiguring the street
There was baying from the purity crusade [brigade]
And the careful lads informed him that the bylaws had been breached
And the blowflies buzzed round every move he made.

Watch out Barney! Special branch is after you!
Got you fully photographed and filed
Officialdom is closing in. Oblivious of everything
Barney builds as happy as a child

It was on a winter's morning, Barney worked the early shift
When inspectors came with agents of the law
they dismantled Barney's monster, dumped it on the council tip
Left the garden neat and tidy as before

Home comes Barney, can't believe his eyes to see
Space where his creation once held sway
Shadows seem to fall on him, silence seems to swallow him
Frightened, Barney turns and runs away.

Now they say that Barney scavenges the scrap heaps of the town
Never answers to his name and no one knows
Why he wants to throw his life away just wandering around
Turning crazy patterns everywhere he goes.

Still it's "Press, turn, screw, lift", early shift and late shift
Other limbs are minding his machine,
Turning little piggies into plastic packaged sausages,
To sell in the Heliport canteen.