Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Bill D Worst pickup lines ever (133* d) RE: Worst pickup lines ever 13 Jul 99

ok, I have to do is a story about a pick-up line..*grin*..(ladies, have YOU ever met a guy like this?)

"....So...there was a young man, oh...maybe 19 yrs old...and he got a summer job in a riding stable.And one day, there comes in to the stable a beautiful young girl...about his age!.Well, he was smitten--his hormones went wild...he could barely look at her without drooling...(you've seen the phenomenon)......So he goes to an older guy who's been working there forever and asks old Sam, "Who is that girl?...Wow...would I like to take her in back of the barn..!"........And old Sam says, "Oh, that's the daughter of one of the richest ranchers in the state...she comes in here almost every weekend to ride."............."Oh, man", says the kid,"I'd give anything to have her as a girlfriend....just look at the way she fills those riding pants..and the shirt too....boy would I like to get my hands on......." "Hey...take it easy", says Sam, "You've got the wrong attitude...she's a nice need to get to know her...who knows what might happen."...."Oh, sure", says the kid,"a nobody like me? All I'm ever gonna do is look at her and lust...!"oh, just need a way to get acquainted",says Sam,"You're a nice guy, right?...good looking?, smart? just don't move in the same social circles as you need a gimmick!"........"Oh, yeah?", says the kid, "like what?" "Well," says old Sam, "you work in her riding stable, you just need some way to go riding with her...look, try this---take her favorite horse and paint its hooves green....then when she comes in and asks for her horse, I'll send you with it......and she'll say, "Oh--my horse's hooves are green!"....and you say,"why so they are...I wonder how that happened?"...and she'll worry about it ...and you can suggest that you ride along with her...just to be sure nothing goes wrong! Then you get another horse and ride with her. Then you can talk...first about horses...then about her family, maybe...and you can tell her about your job and how you are working your way thru college. A couple of rides like that and she'll see what a good guy you are..and soon she'll be inviting you over to her place to meet her folks...pretty soon you'll be over there a lot, and you could end up going steady....and one of these days, maybe in a few months, romance will be blooming, and you'll be snuggled up to that pretty girl somewhere, enjoying all those charming curves.." So, the kid does it...he paints her horses hooves green..and sure enough, next weekend she comes in and asks for her horse. So, Sam calls the kid and tells him,"Okay, here's your chance...just remember what I told you....when she worries about the green hooves, you offer to ride with her and strike up a conversation,,,and if you play your cards right, you'll be playing with HER in no time!" So, the kid leads the horse up, and the girl takes one look and says , "Oh, my goodness, my horse's hooves are GREEN!"......And the kid says, "They sure are!! Lets fuck!!

Back to the Main Forum Page

By clicking on the User Name, you will requery the forum for that user. You will see everything that he or she has posted with that Mudcat name.

By clicking on the Thread Name, you will be sent to the Forum on that thread as if you selected it from the main Mudcat Forum page.
   * Click on the linked number with * to view the thread split into pages (click "d" for chronologically descending).

By clicking on the Subject, you will also go to the thread as if you selected it from the original Forum page, but also go directly to that particular message.

By clicking on the Date (Posted), you will dig out every message posted that day.

Try it all, you will see.