Ted was speaking to the vicar of his church. "I have a problem, he confessed, "my wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons, and it is very embarrassing."

"I know just the thing" the vicar replied. "Take this hat pin, and when I see her nod off I'll motion you to give her a little jab."

The following Sunday off went Ted, his wife and the pin. Before long the vicar saw Ted's wife dozing so he began his plan. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he asked, nodding to Ted. "JESUS" cried Ted's wife as he jabbed her with the pin. "That's right!" continued the vicar. Soon she was off again, so the vicar continued "And who is your redeemer?" and nodded to Ted. "GOD!" the poor woman yelled. "Right again!" said the vicar, smiling.

Before long Ted's wife was off again, but the vicar was getting so carried away with his sermon that he was shaking his head wildly. Ted mistook the signals and gave his wife a hefty jab just as the vicar was asking "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Ted's wife shrieked.....

"If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in two and shove it up your a**e!"