Well I've just given birth to a heifer,
And the pride of the milk I am full,
But I'm sad to relate that my lactical state
Was not brought about by a bull..

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No I've never been naughty I swear it,
In spite of the calves I have born.
By Farmer Brown's tractor, I'm virgo intacta,
I've not had a bull by the horn.

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How dreary the farmyard and meadow,
The cowshed's so gloomy and grey,
For the one bit of fun in the year's daily run'
Has by science been taken away.

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Now I know that the farm is a business,
In which we must all pull our weight.
But I've pulled and I've pulled for a nice bit of bull,
For this phoney arrangement I hate.

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Now never let it be said that I'm jealous,
For that's something a cow shouldn't be.
But those 'Land Army' tarts, who handle my parts,
Still get theirs the old fashioned way.

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