A tune in one of my fiddle books is prefaced with a quote by Ossian (who he?) - "There is a joy in grief."
This is a notion I would have disputed in the weeks and months following the senseless death of my brother a number of years ago, but as time goes by, and the nature of my pain changes, I am more inclined to believe it true.
It's hard to concieve of joy when you're in the early days of grief - when your nerve endings extend to the outside of your skin, and the universe is seemingly indifferent to your pain, and you still have to deal with the "normal' business of life, as well as the unimportant, mundane and absurd - but the experience at the concert when you felt Byron in your heart is part of it.
This may sound goofy, but my grief became my ally, and I learned to embrace it instead of turn it away. It slowly became clear to me that there was a gift wrapped up in all that pain, like the little white dot on the black side of the yin/yang symbol. I am still learning about the meaning of that gift, and the pain still shows up, unannounced, at the strangest times, but you know, I don't think I'd want to change that.
I am sorry for your loss, Animaterra, but I thank you for this thread.