Well, well. I see that the gossip is flying around again. No I am most certainly not Khandu (a likeable if odd sort of lad). This will no doubt shock Tweed to his very marrow! Ho! Ho! Yes, he will "surely be nonplussed, flummoxed and otherwise astoundeded as his entire worldview does a 180 degree turn, a couple of backflips and a double Axel as it slides toward oblivion."

I love that image! It reminds me of his mind and his morals, which slid into oblivion some time ago...

There are many good reasons for visiting England, but Tweed is most certainly not one of them.

I must confess that I gain a sort of odd gratification seeing my name come up again on what must be the longest thread in the history of this mad forum, and one very much in character with its maddest aspects. This is a bit worrisome. Can I be falling into the vice of pursuing notoriety for its own sake? Surely not.

I am delighted to report that the depraved poet Malcolm Buggerol has left Twillingsgate. May he never return!!! I am unhappy to report that he is still alive, however, and not languishing in jail. This speaks volumes for the wretched state of our legal and judicial system, as well as for the ability of certain rich people to apply influence when their reputations are at stake...

Winston got a great deal of pleasure out of the legal battles with the Hoarsbottoms, although he is rumoured to have spent enough money on the lawyers to purchase several good racehorses! Quite a waste of money, if you ask me...the whole thing came to nothing in the end. I think the Frenchwoman, Angelique, had plans to either kill him or seduce him and put him in a compromising situation, but those plans came to nothing as well. This was not surprising in the former case (a great many people have wanted to kill Winston...all have failed), but it was quite surprising in the latter case. For an attractive woman to seduce Winston would be a project requiring, I should think, virtually no effort whatsoever...it would be like trying to persuade Henry VIII to marry again or a dog to stop at the next fire hydrant. Be that as it may, he avoided the trap. Amazing! He is not a complete idiot.

Well, we must put these tawdry matters in the past where they belong and sally forth upon some worthwhile endeavour, I say. Something that will better the world and humanity. The future beckons, as always, replete with a world of possibilities.

Cheerio, ladies and gents!

* PR