My first real good experience with music, aside from listening to my dad sing as we traveled in the car, was beginning band. In late elementary school I had few friends and was considered an oalf by my classmates and by my teacher. A big kid without brains or talent. Then came beginning band and I was assigned the trombone. Kids with long arms get to play trombone. My mother encouraged me and even though we lived in poverty she made sure I had private lessons. I started off sounding as bad as any beginner playing "Lightly Row" and "Abide With Me" but I did practice and even the kids who didn't like me acknowleged that I was the best in the class. I'm not a world class trombonist now, though I still play all kinds of music on all kinds of instruments, but being good at music made a difference in a big, insecure oalf. I didn't have to measure up to everyone elses expectations of failure. The encouragement of my mother and my band director and my own willingness to work made music the avenue of my self appreciation.