FOR WHAT ITS WORTH:
Here is lyrics sang to the melody of Are you lonesome tonight entitled

SENIOR'S LAMENT

Are you lonesome tonight
Does your tummy feel tight
Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums
Does your memory stray
To that bright sunny day
When you had all your teeth in your gums.

Is your hairline receding
Your eyes growing dim
Hysterectomy for her
And it's prostate for him
Does your back give you pain
Does your knees predict rain
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight

Is your blood pressure up
Good cholesterol down
Are you eating your low-fat cuisine
All that oat bran and fruit
Metamucil to boot
Helps you run like a well-oiled machine

If it's football or baseball
He sure knows the score
Yes he knows where it's at
But forgets what it's for
So your gall bladder's gone
But your gout lingers on
Tell me dear are your lonesome tonight.

When you're hungry he's not
When you're cold he is hot
Then you start that old thermostat war
When you turn off the light
He goes left you go right
Then you get his great symphonic snore

He was once so romantic
So witty and smart
How did he turn out to be such a cranky old fart
So don't take any bets
It's as good as it gets
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.