I lost someone very dear to me almost 30 years ago. It took me 20 years to get to a stage where I felt I had come to terms with it. I should probably have gone to therapy as a child, but that was not the done thing in the Uk all those years ago.
However, I was given one piece of advice that I believe helped me. I was told that one day I would wake up and it wouldn't be the first thing on my mind. That happened. To be honest it probably took a year for that to happen. But it did.
And I was told that the time would come when I would pass one whole day without thinking about the person I lost. That took a long, long, time to happen. But it did.
Bereavement can be a hellish thing. But it does hurt less as time goes by. I am amazed at how us humans DO heal and and how life DOES go on. Cry it all out. And cry some more. One day it will feel a little better. And another day it will feel a whole load better.