Great Teribus, I knew all along that we were being blinkered by that "hair shirt" brigade.
It's a fact that Water temperatures have risen and the fish are moving north and west to cooler and deeper water but that will be just due to the odd dolphin farting.
Its also a fact that the glaziers are melting but that will be due to all these wild foxes that now roam and piss over them.
And yes, even in mid winter, the Highlands of Scotland's reservoirs are at their lowest since they have been built but that will be due to these dirty Scots now watering their whisky.
Aye it's a great world, the wonderful world of the Telegraph and their Swedish statisticians and Danish economists!