Day 356: Busy, busy, busy! So much exploring to do. I have covered just about every square millimeter of the floor space and some of the mountains in this place. There's a lot of dust and dirt underneath things. Typical Monster place! I found the odd bit of edible stuff lying around, but nothing to match the birdseed stash or the other stuff I ate. There are hairs around here at least half a mile long. I think they are from No-Knees, but some of them are in different colors, so maybe not. There are shorter wiry, kinky hairs too. Yuck! Mullet-Head and No-Knees have been making the nights hideous with their nocturnal romps, which I am beginning to suspect are a primitive form of mating ritual. They keep burning things too, and making the air smoky. It makes me sneeze, but they don't notice that. I hide under a convenient mountain when they are around and observe their bizarre habits. They spend hours staring blankly at a box which emits a variety of noises, along with flashes of light. Toto says the box is a "TV". I think that may stand for "total vacancy". Whatever it is, it should be destroyed or made to leave, in my opinion. I will have to see if I can find a way to do that. The box has an umbilical cord running to the wall. Perhaps if I sever the cord the box will grow up, assert its independence and walk out of our lives forever. I hope so! Toto actually likes the box because it's noisy and he feels safe when there's a lot of noise...but he agrees with me that the Korn records are really hard to take! Mullet-head plays music on the stereo (another weird box) that could be used to kill livestock, I'm sure. All these boxes are frustrated because they're getting old and no one has severed their umbilical cords yet, and I intend to do something about it as soon as I finish exploring everything.

I have also found a source of fresh water (aside from Toto's water dish). There's a pipe under the bathroom sink that drips steadily. Hooray! Things are basically looking pretty good here.

Corridus