Day 358: The Enormous One came here last night! He's as ugly as ever. It happened around 2:30 AM. Mullet-Head had been playing very loud music from that new band, Kid Moronic and the Useless F**kers...and I had been trying to ignore it whilst cleaning my fur under the "couch"....that's what they call one of the mountains here. The Couch. Well, the walls were literally shaking it was so loud. No-Knees and Mullet-Head were sitting around smoking and drinking that detestable bitter stuff that's all bubbly (it's called "beer") and simultaneously watching the Total Vacancy (TV) while also listening to Kid Moronic froth and screech. Mullet-Head came home earlier with a new T-shirt that he's very proud of. It says, "I'm A Useless F**ker (and Proud Of It!)" in big red letters. It indicates solidarity with the band.

Anyway, there was a loud hammering on the door at 2:30 or thereabouts. Mullet-Head got really paranoid and wouldn't open it, until he found it was only the Enormous One. Then he opened it, but very reluctantly. The Enormous One had a big row with Mullet-Head and No-Knees. He says they are 3 months behind in the rent. I'm not sure what that means. The only rent I have seen around here is the ripped-out knees in No-Knees' jeans. I think it was some other rent they were talking about. The Enormous One is threatening to "evict" them. It means he'll throw them out. He said he would evict then on the spot if they didn't turn the bleeping stereo off RIGHT NOW!!!

It was a nasty scene. The Enormous One finally ripped the umbilical cord of the stereo out of the wall and Kid Moronic and the U.F.'s died in mid-shriek. He said if he heard it again tonight he would come back and throw the stereo out the window. Then he left.

Mullet-Head and No-Knees complained about it for awhile, then they finally went to bed and fell asleep. No romp tonight. They weren't in the mood for it.

Now is my chance. The stereo is totally asleep. It's little eye is vacant and lifeless. I will sever the disconnected cord and thereby force the stereo to grow up, get a life, and seek its destiny in the greater world beyond these walls. Hallellujah!!!

Toto is peacefully sleeping and won't know the difference.

Corridus