11 years after my sister's death, I still have dreams in which she is present, and I think, oh thank goodness! It was all a horrible mistake.

I am still working to the point where I am just glad she comes back to me in my dreams.

I pay attention to my dreams.

I still get mopey around her birthday, and then remember why. October 7 -- oh yeah, I can't call up Susie. Her death date affects me somewhat, too.

I was in a grief group for a good long time. The counselor said to give ourselves as much time as needed; 3 - 5 years was AVERAGE. And not to listen to people who said "Aren't you over that yet??" They don't know. The stiff upper lip stuff is just crap.

Be good to yourself. You need and deserve it. Being with other people who feel the same as you about the loss was/is the most helpful. (Except my parents, who are bound and determined to hang on the the hurt feelings until the day they die.)