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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Michael K. Secret of Life - Part II (33) Secret of Life - Part II 10 Sep 99


(By the way, I thought Catspaw49's response, in the original thread was brilliant!)

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? (Part II)

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

L.A. Police Department: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and,therefore, synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Scully: It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Oliver Stone: The question is not 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' but is rather 'Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?'

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?'

Immanuel Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.

Plato: For the greater good.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

The Sphinx: You tell me.

O.J.: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.


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