REINSTALLING WINDOWS
by LES BARKER

I've bought a computer;
It cost a thousand pound
Every time I switch it on
It keeps on falling down.

I used to think it was my friend
Now it drives me round the bend;
You'd be surprised the time I spend
Reinstalling Windows.

I switch it on; What is this?
Something wrong with config.sys;
This isn't my idea of bliss,
Reinstalling Windows.

I want to share my printers and
I want to share my files,
I want to share my anger 'cos
It drives me bloomin' wild.

My songs, they say, can be sublime;
I've conquered cadence, mastered rhyme;
Nowadays I spend my time
Reinstalling Windows.

Reinstall; Oh what fun!
It says it helps you get things done;
Everyday now everyone's
Reinstalling windows.

Watch the screen ; watch it say
All you do is plug and play
How do I spend every day?
Reinstalling Windows.

It can't find my printer and
It can't find my mouse;
The other day it told me they
were in some other house.

Still unplugged , still unplayed,
Emailed God in search of aid
He's far too busy I'm afraid,
Reinstalling Windows.

Up at dawn for one more try;
Does it work? Can pigs fly?
How do I expect to die?
Reinstalling Windows.

I used to like a drink or three;
No time now; Don't call for me;
I'm going to spend eternity
Reinstalling Windows.

It doesn't like my Modem and
Detests all CD-Roms;
Let's see if the set up wizard
Recognises bombs.

I used to think it was my friend;
Now it drives me round the bend;
You'd be surprised the time I spend
Reinstalling Windows.

At the moment it's gone, but I don't think it'll be long before it's back. I think I'd better consult my computer guru.