What about

The Piper (also known as The Hole in the Piper's Bag)

I don't remember having seen it published or recorded although I have heard it several times in pub sessions in Ireland. This is how I sing it (and I'd be greatful for any corrections):

Mrs. Levi gave a great party one night,
she invited us all to attend.
We gathered a gang, jumped down to her place,
A few pleasant hours to spend.
There was Barney and Duffy and Flinn and Meself,
Well, a crowd wasn't hard for to find.
But the thing most important we almost forgot:
We near left the piper behind.

Chorus:

We invited him down to the party,
He brought his bagpipe just by chance.
We asked him to sing, but he said, "Ah, no.
But I'll play yez a bit of a dance."
He picked up his pipes and he started to play--
Someone got foolin' about,
And cut a great hole in the bag of his pipes,
And here is the tune that came out.
[lilting]

When the piper found out that his bag it was cut,
Sure he gave a great lep on the floor.
He set about work in jackhammer style,
Landin' them under the jaw.
Mrs. Levi she fainted, they all made a rush,
Tryin' to get out of the door.
But the piper had nine of them taking the count,
And he swore he could lick 20 more.

Chorus

Now, if ever you go to a party,
Ah, you'd better keep this in your mind:
Don't get vexed with the piper,
for you'll find him a gintleman kind.
But if trouble should start, keep out of his way,
For he carries an awful patogue.
Ah, you won't hear it coming, but whoow [shouted], when it lands,
sure you'll know it's an Irish kitogue.

Chorus


Patogue and kitogue (sp?) are Irish words that mean fist and left-hand, I believe, although I don't remember which is which.

Although this one has the same questionable quality about the lyrics that many of the above songs have, for some reason I enjoy singing it. Perhaps it's the creativity invited in the lilting, including the tuning of the pipes and their reedy sound.