owing to a curse or something I'm beset by weird problems that cannot be explained. They come and go. There's never any solution or explanation.

I've never been able to wear a watch. They die. They're torn from my wrist, as if I routinely escape danger by the breadth of a watchband. One started running backwards, which you may not believe--fine. I'm used to it. That's part of the curse.

I never have a pen that works.

My belt has decided to rotate. For no reason, just this past month, any belt I wear winds up by mid-day with the buckle to the side, or around back, or somewhere. Maybe it's trying to tell time, to compensate for the watch I can't wear.

   People make a point of misunderstanding things I say. Yesterday I asked for tomato and onions on a fish sandwich, and got a tomato and onion sandwich with no fish.