John, I'd just like to suggest that you stop blaming yourself for your child's decisions. Once people have passed the "age of reason" (usually around age 7) they do think for themselves. If parents know they've done everything in their power to steer their child in the right direction, and that child insists on harming themselves anyway, it's not because of the parent. I think it's because that young person needs to learn some very important lessons about the behavior in question.

And some people just can't take someone elses's word - especially a parent's - for anything. They seem to need to learn things "the hard way", unfortunately. If your child is like this, there's nothing you can do about it except love him anyway and GO EASY ON YOURSELF!

And this reminds me of something I heard from a spiritual healer down in Atlanta last fall ...

"If it contains blame, shame or judgement, it's not yet the Truth"

I like it so much I use it as an affirmation whenever I find myself filled with negative thoughts about myself or anyone else. It really brings me relief, mentally and emotionally.


People attach to drugs, alcohol, running, or excessive shopping because this attachment is predictable to them and it provides what they can not find with other human beings.

When these attachments begin to fail to provide a haven from the pain of human attachments human beings may be brought back into engagement with one another. Love usually does this best. If only for oneself...

harpgirl, according to my own personal experience, you are absolutely right. Except that the Love that "cured" me did not come from another human being. I don't think there's a human being on the planet that could have given me the kind of unconditional love I needed at that point in my life!

It came from within, from my own spiritual Self, as I was trying out a new spiritual exercise for the first time. That experience was awesome - I'd never known such a warm all-encompassing Love in all my life! It seemed to eradicate all desire to get high, I just didn't need it anymore.

I love what you've said. Love rules!! :-)


I'm sure that it is an emotional issue for some of you but its obvious that the "war on drugs" shouldn't include pot. All it does is create a lucrative black market.

dianavan, I couldn't agree more.

daylia