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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Harald Bearshirt BS: The Mother of all BS threads (59136* d) RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads 20 Jun 04


(From Joe Odin: This, like the rest of this Guest's postings, was originally posted in Old Norse and has been translated into English by the Mudcat Translator, which also makes good mead and terrific coffee. Problems with meter, scansion, and poetic technique are the faults of the Translator, whch still had old coffee grounds in it, not the poet.)

Hrald am I, bravest berserker,
My shirt-name given me ages ago
When as a young man slew I a serpent,
Slew I a fjord-troll, took many men's heads.
I, son of Eyvind, thrice son of the One-Eyed,
Was given my Longtooth in fiery Muspell,
Handed my Longtooth by Tyr himself,
Pledged to him my bloodtroth, my life to his service,
E'en though he told me a boy would end mine.
Then served I jarls, kings and great chieftains,
A-viking I went, gaining much gold
Killing brave warriors, the battle-lust on me,
Longtooth gore dripping, bearded with blood.
At last I came, a battle-wise berserk,
Pledged to the King, Frodhi of Halfdan,
Son of the son of Frodhi the Peace God,
Hand-trothed to Frodhi, who his own brother killed.
One Yule we kept not at Leidhra, this Yule to Haven
And northward we went. Frodhi the Good, Frodhi the Peace-God,
Father of Halfdan he had raised this small hall
And there Frodhi of Halfdan went to celebrate Yule.
Came there close jarls, warriors and chieftains,
Hand-pledged, but Frodhi, at ease but untrusting,
All weapons he garnered, filling the forehall,
And his death and mine thereby assuring.
After the feasting came Heidh the witch-wife
Frodhi had brought her, wise-woman she was.
Saw she the doom that was e'en then approaching,
Helgi and Hroar, true sons of Halfdan.
Hroar and Helgi, called Hrani and Ham,
Feeders of swine, yet sons of the king,
Sons of Frodhi's brother, who was by Frodhi slain.
With help from their kinsmen, Saevil and Regin,
They fired the hall and there many did burn.
I, Harald, handpledged to Frodhi of Leidhra,
Was therein unarmed, my Longtooth in Fore-hall and stolen away.
Yellow-red flames ate at the timbers,
Armed men blocked the low doors, many they speared.
'Til I with a bench and a post from the highseat
The battle-lust on me, broke through the wall!
Many I beat down, the post brain-bespattered,
And then a young man before me appeared.
Wearing a helm that nearly fit him, a shield in his left
And Tyr-Gift firmly held in his right!
I howled, my blood boiling, my hair all up-standing,
For the blood of this stripling my own blood was lusting,
And I swung the throne-post to break in his skull.
Had the blow landed he would have been splattered
But he caught it on shield-edge and it shattered the shield.
Leaping he thrust over the bench that I carried,
And Longtooth bit deep into my neck. I fell then.
My blood, hot and a-boiling, spilt by Helgi, I his first man.
Darker my vision, thought the fire leapt higher,
Knew I that Frodhi was lost in the flames.
They called out the women, children and servants,
All these came out, but never the queen.
Sigridh the mother of Hroar and Helgi,
Forced into marriage with Frodhi Hafdan,
Sigridh appeared to her sons in the doorway
Then true to her marriage, returned to the flames.


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