That's roight. You 'eard it 'ere. Crouch End is the 13th crappiest town in the UK. I carn't say I'm surprised! Wif a name like "Crouch End" you know the place 'as got to be crap.
'Ull used to be number one on the list, probally becos of jOhn from 'Ull bein' a resident there, but 'Ull 'as slipped to second place recently. I don't know which town is first now, but I fink it would be nice if it could be Crouch End.
Per'aps if jOhn could be persuaded to move to Crouch End the place would deterirote enough so's it could move to the nyumber 1 spot and be the Crappiest town in the UK. I would be in favour of jOhn movin' to Crouch End, so as to 'elp 'Ull be re'abilitated.
But then 'e might 'ave to change 'is name to jOhn from Crouch End.
I like it. "jOhn from Crouch End". It 'as a good ring to it, don't you fink?
p.s. I am not talkin' to Eddie until the parrot goes.