Years ago I saw Micheal Cooney perform this song. I've been looking for the words for decades, and thanks to the database, I hit paydirt. That was just yesterday. Today, I found a songbook with ALL the words to it. *Sigh* Does it get better than this?
Here goes, all the way from the "Bottoms Up" songbook "for good fellows", published by Paull-Pioneer Music Corp,Fifth Ave, New York, copyrighted 1933.The melody is taken from a song called, "Little Willie", which is described as, "Pleasantly sadistic verses set to an old railroad song. Verses to Little Willie are credited "courtesy of W.F.Evens"
Anyway, here are the verses to "The Dummy Line", credited to "Paul Smith and others".
I got on the train at half past two
Looked out the window and saw the same old view
Said I to the conductor, "What you waitin'here for?"
Said he, "We've been movin'for an hour or more."
When we'd been travellin'for quite a bit
I ordered up dinner and paid for it
Soon I heard the fireman holler through
"Hey! Where'n hell's my lunch gone to?"
Said I to a drummer, "What do you sell?"
"Brains, "said he, "If I must tell."
"Well, of all I've seen, you're the first example
Of a travellin' man who don't carry no sample"
The engine stopped with a jerk and a cough
The porter said, "Shall I brush you off?"
"No," said I, "You bloomin'jay,
I prefer to get off in the usual way,
The lord made me and the lord made you
The lord must have made the C.D.&Q
Yes, that is true, for the scripture sings
That the lord, he made, all the creeping things
A strange looking lady across the aisle
Picked up her grip, looked at me with a smile
"I must be off", said she to me
Said I, "You're off, that's plain to see".
I asked a man a century old
If he'd ever worked on this here road.
He answered calmly, "Yes, my son,
I was the newsboy on this train's last run."
...I also remember Micheal singing the chorus as:
"On the dummy line, the dummy line
Rise and shine on the dummy dummy line
Rise and shine and take your time,
When you're riding on the dummy, on the dummy, dummy line.
Well, there you go.