I've just dredged up a couple of examples of John's style from the inner recesses of my mind. They won't look like much written down, but try to imagine them delivered in that unique, laid back, laconic style:
'I'd like to thank the gentleman who wrote to me this week suggesting that I was, in some strange way, an outdoor toilet facility.'
'I went to Liverpool last week for the first time in years. How refreshing to meet a waitress who won't serve you a second cup of coffee because, in her words, she can't be arsed.'