Been there, done that......

BEFORE you find a lawyer, find a good MEDIATOR. Mediators are interested in finding ways to get to the bottom of diputes and helping YOU and your spouse find a fair solution. They can save you a lot on lawyers fees (although they're not cheap themselevs) but the best thing they do is save you a lot of time and energy you'd probably spend fighting. If all goes well, the mediators help you write the division of property, custody, etc., and the lawyers just put it in legalese.

The other advice is to not lose sight of your own interests. Figure out what's most important to you. You may think you want to do anything to just get it over with, but decisions like "I don't care, just take the house" or "Fine, you can have the kids, I'll just visit on weekends" can't be un-done. If you do have kids don't be afraid to ask for 50/50 custody. That's what I have for my 2 young children, and they have a much closer relationship with their dad than my friends' kids who only see their dads every other weekend.

Good luck.