I was given this parody by a policeman in Portsmouth (it's a long story) Sailor, Sailor Oh sailor, sailor will you marry me? With your uniform so neat Oh no, nice girl! I cannot marry you For I haven't got any teeth! So off she went to her grandfather's glass And got him a set that were really first class An the sailor put them in Oh sailor, sailor will you marry me? Do you have to make me beg ? Oh no, nice girl! I cannot marry you 'cos I've only got one leg So off she went to her grandfather's table Where she sawed of a leg so her sailor weren't disabled And the sailor screwed it in. Oh sailor, sailor will you marry me? With your nautical gait so jocular Oh no, nice girl! I cannot marry you I've only got one eye. I'm monocular! (this is a GREAT line!) So off she went to her grandfather's tin Found a gurt big marble that she gave to him And the sailor popped it in. Oh sailor, sailor will you marry me? Or am I wasting my time ? Oh no, nice girl! I think I'll marry you, 'cos I'm feeling rather fine So off they went to her grandfather's cradle Where she found that the sailor (seaman) was very, very able And the sailor put it in!
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