We lived together for a long time before getting married . . . but still, things changed after the wedding. Just opening your mouth and saying "My husband" or "My wife" changes things. You are both going to change. Expect this, pay attention to your spouse, and you won't wake up with a familiar stranger in a few years.

Re the in-law problem: Can you get out of the house? Together? Without them? To a park, the library, a hymn sing at church, a gathering of others with a cheap common interest? The Society for Creative Anachronism (www.sca.org) has a reputation as hospitable to all; I know that my local chapter has saved my sanity more than once when the house seemed to be getting smaller by the hour. The smaller the chapter and gathering, the more family-friendly and relaxed it tends to be; start with a shire's monthly potluck if possible. And by all means, find a qualified counselor, as was suggested above.

Here's a wedding song about the divine madness of love: Beggars to God.