Hi. Ya'll don' know me but mah name's Zeke Floyd. I wus wunnerin' if ya'll mighta see'd mah dawgs. They bus' outta they's pen las' Thuzday an' I ain' see'd 'em since. They's two of 'em. One's a yaller bitch whut's probly in heat. Looks sorta lack a yaller Lab only 'tain't one. Labs is fer duck huntin' an' I don' hunt no dam' ducks, jus' deer. Th' other one's a black 'n tan dawg looks sorta lack a coonhoun' only 'tain't one. Don' hunt no dam' coons, jus' deer. Ennyways, lack I says, thet yaller bitch is probly in heat so they's probly gonna be a whole dam' mess uh dawgs follerin' 'er 'roun' tryin' t' fuck 'er. Ya'll kin shoot th' res' them sumbitches if ya wanna, jus' don' shoot th' yaller bitch an' th' black 'n tan dawg. They's bo'f wearin' collars wif mah name an' phone nummer on 'em. Don' go askin' whut they names is 'cause they ain' got no names. What th' hell ennybuddy wanna name a huntin' dawg fer ennyways? Ain't no dam' pets. Namin' huntin' dawgs is 'bout as silly as namin' cows.

Ennyways, if enny of ya'll seen mah dawgs, jus' gimme a call at 555-1234 an' I'll come an' git 'em. I'd 'preciate it if ya'll kin tie 'em to a tree or sumpin' t' keep 'em frum runnin' off 'til I git there. Don' worry 'bout 'em tryin' t' bite 'cause they knows better. I beat th' shit out of 'em ever time they even thinks 'bout bitin'.