Here's a couple of "Texas Christmas Carols" that my daughter and I came up with:

JIM-BOB THE RED-NECK REINDEER

Jim-Bob the Redneck Reindeer
Has a piss-poor attitude
Just stood around scratching his cojones
And acting in a manner rude

Jim-Bob, he liked his Lone Star
He liked to honkey-tonk from dusk 'til dawn
He liked to line-dance to the "Cotton-Eyed Joe"
Then hurl his gut on Santa's lawn

Then one dusty Christmas Eve
Rudolph came to say:
"Jim-Bob, you're just Cow-town Trash!"
So Jim-Bob knocked him on his heiney

And now all the other reindeers
Are afraid they'll get what Ridolph got!
That why Jim-Bob the Red-neck Reindeer
Is the toughest buck of Santa's lot!

Then one dusty Christmas Eve
Miss Comet was heard to say:
"Jim-Bob, if I'm a good rein-doe
Won't you please just rock my world?

And now all the other rein-does
Want what Miss Comet had
And now JIm-Bob the redneck reindeer
Is a lot of little reindeer's Dad!

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Santa Claus Is Copping a 'Tude

You better get wise, you better get hip
And don't go givin' your Mama no lip
'Cause Santa Claus is coping a 'tude!

He's making a list, he's checkin' it twice
He don't give a rat's ass if you're naughty or nice
'Cause Santa Claus is coppin' a 'tude

Ol' Rudolph, he got stupid
He got up in Santa's face
Now Santa's big white freezer
Is Rudolph's final resting place

You better get wise, you better get hip
And don't go givin' your Mama no lip
'Cause Santa Claus is coping a 'tude!

He's making a list, he's checkin' it twice
He don't give a rat's ass if you're naughty or nice
'Cause Santa Claus is coppin' a 'tude

Santa's three days out of Prozak!
He's jonesin' Xanax, too!
If Santa don't his fix right quick
We'll all get sacks of "poo"

You better get wise, you better get hip
And don't go givin' your Mama no lip
'Cause Santa Claus is coping a 'tude!

He's making a list, he's checkin' it twice
He don't give a rat's ass if you're naughty or nice
'Cause Santa Claus is coppin' a 'tude

Don't try to shuck and jive him
He's hip to all your tricks!
He's got better spies than Ashcroft
And he's had enough of your shit!

You better get wise, you better get hip
And don't go givin' your Mama no lip
'Cause Santa Claus is coping a 'tude!

He's making a list, he's checkin' it twice
He don't give a rat's ass if you're naughty or nice
'Cause Santa Claus is coppin' a 'tude