This thread, and particularly this comment: My wife has met and is comfortable with several women that I have had relationships with reminded me of a song I heard Naemanson sing when he was out here in Oz just over a year ago. It just goes to show you never know what might happen: The Mistress "I'd like to have a mistress," I told my wife one day "To help me through the middle years, it would suit a man my age" And to my great astonishment, she never said a word She just looked at me as if to say "Now don't be so absurd." "I'd like to have a mistress, no more than twenty one With a figure like a goddess, it would keep me feeling young. She'd make me tea in the afternoon, served on a silver tray Dressed only in her birthday suit or a skimpy neglige." "I'd like to have a mistress, who was tender young and chic, We'd make love in the afternoons, maybe once or twice a week. I'd leave the office early and I'd go round to her flat We'd always have champagne on ice as we'd take a bubble bath. I'd like to have a mistress who would know just what to do She'd have read the Perfumed Garden and the Kama Sutra too And the more I think about it, the more I think it wise " My wife just looked at me and said, "Why don't you advertise?" "I'd like to have a mistress," so ran the ad next day "The work is light, the hours are short and we can discuss the pay" I waited by the phone all day but I got just one reply When she came round for an interview I could not believe my eyes At last I had a mistress who was every dream come true She was sexy, blond and beautiful, 'though she was twenty-two My wife gave her approval, she didn't seem to mind I hardly could believe my luck, they hit it off just fine. It was nice to have a mistress, it seemed so civilized It gave a touch of spice to life, there was always some surprise But then one afternoon, I found a note upon her door Saying our affair was over, she'd not see me anymore I'd like to have a mistress who'd be a little more content And not go running off on me, not saying where she went One I could rely on, who would stay with me through life And not leave me with a note to say she ran off with my wife. Note: Words and Music, Robbie O'Connell © 1988 Slievenamon Music (BMI) From recording: Never Learned to Dance - Green Linnet, GLCD 1124 Gotta give credit where credit is due. -Joe Offer-
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