Kendall has quite a reputation for using a couple of phrases in particular when he gets hot under the collar (and those that know him know that this is quite a common occurrence - the stories are legion!) Quite often these phrases are accompanied by a certain amount of assault and battery against the inanimate object - I have yet to ask his daughter about the incident with the toaster.

A few days ago we bought a new computer desk that needed to be assembled. I told his brother about this and he just laughed and said 'that should be interesting'. I thought about going out for the afternoon or just retiring to another room until it was all over but decided that I ought to stay around to see who won - him or the desk. To make things interesting I had a bet with Seamus that Kendall could build the desk without using either 'Goddammit' or 'Sumbitch', which are usually both used with both force and feeling. If he swore Seamus was on for three dog biscuits and a bacon strip.

Well, it took about two hours to build and all that pased his lips were a couple of 'miserable pricks', said very quietly and with little force or feeling. Even when we realised that the desk would have to be redesigned to fit the space available he didn't break out with a cussword.

However, use of certain phrases is a good release sometimes and he wouldn't be Kendall if he didn't use them. But it was fun waiting to see if he could manage without them, particularly when dealing with flat pack furniture. Has anyone ever had instructions for this stuff that are actually clear and concise?