Howdy ya'll! I ain't been aroun' here in a while. It's good t' see you buncha folks is still at it. Amis is still fulla it which means he mus' still be livin' in Caleefornia. That Rapeer boy's runnin' a close secont though, so look out, Amis. An' I see's Mizz Rusty Rebel's still hangin' out here. It mus' be purty cold in Minnesoter 'cause she be wearin' clothes. My brother Sheney Knause wuz kinda sweet on her, weren't he?

Ennyways, tha's whut I come here fer, is t' ask if ya'll's seen my brother Sheney. Ya know we had a operashun t' git my nose outta his butt-crack so's we ain't whatcha call "conjoined twins" no more. It shore has made life a whole lot simpler. An' it smells better too. We wus bofe able t' git real jobs an' start savin' up sum money so's we cud git as far away from each other as possible. Well, all th' money we'd saved up done went missin' an' I ain't seed hide ner hair of Sheeny in a month. I'm afeared he has met wif foul play of sum sort.

If ya'll hears from Sheney, gimme a holler. Ya hear?