Dear Rusty,

You ere disrememberin' th' story of me an' my brother Sheney. Yas, we wuz whatchacall "conjoint twins", but we weren't conjoint butt-crack t' nose/butt-crack t' nose. It were only my nose conjointed t' his butt-crack. Tha's whut gived him such a sooperior attitude all th' time.

Ennyways, I hav fount my brither Sheney! An' thut Bee-dubyer feller wuz right. Sheney runned off wif all my moneys. But Sheney din't run too far. He only went a few mile up th' road t' whar a buncha hippies lives at this place called a "ashram". Thar's this littl bitty ol' feller whut runs th' place name uh Baba Bahnahna Dakree. All th' hippies thut live thar sorta worships th' ol' guy an' they all teck turns walkin' aroun' behin' him wif they noses stuck in th' crack uh his butt. Tha's whar I fount my brother Sheney, wif his nose stuck in ol' Baba Bahnahna Dakree's butt-crack. I figger ol' Sheney jus' started feelin' bad about all th' times he mistreated an' badmoufed me an' thut he wuz tryin' t' whatchacall meck amminds fer his bad beehavure.

So I had me a talk wif ol' Baba Bahnahna Dakree an' tol' him thet Sheney has stole my money. An' Baba says thut Sheney had gived th' ashram a buncha money but thut if halfa it were mine he wud be glad t' give it back. He were reel nice about it.

So now I gots all this money an' I don' hafta move t' git away from Sheney 'cause it looks like he's gonna live thar on th' ashram an smell ol' Baba's farts fer a long time. So, I thank I'll teck my money an' git some plastick surjerry dun on my nose. It's got a liddle flat spot frum whar thay removed it frum Sheney's butt-crack an' I wanna git it fixed. I'm thankin' about tryin' t' find th' feller whut did Michael Jackson's nose-job. Ya'll reckon tha's a gud ideer?