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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones BS: The joys and blessings of marriage (33) RE: BS: The joys and blessings of marriage 13 Feb 05

Good show, Nigel. Watch it over there, mate, because you are dealing with religious fanatics who will stop at nothing. No war is as treacherous as a guerrilla conflict, and this one is liable to drag on and on, I fear.

Meanwhile, the rats are crawling out of the woodwork in Twillingsgate, as usual, and I think they must be quite frustrated indeed at the happiness and stability of our marriage. They are finding very little to write about in the gossip columns. I see them glowering in impotent frustration as Penelope and I cruise merrily by in the Bentley. My, how my heart bleeds for's almost as sad as seeing an unemployed lawyer, wouldn't you say? Or, dare I say it, 100,000 unemployed and poverty-stricken lawyers forced to seek social assistance due to lack of litigation! Ha! Now that's a droll thought...

The parrot is proving to be quite a challenge to my pals at the Vicar's Inn. No one, and I mean no one can hurl insults, abuse and innuendo as well as this formidable bird. It has to be seen and heard to be believed. It gets funnier and funnier as the evening goes on. Bertie Matchless was struck dumb by something it said to him last night. Needless to say, "Tony" wore out his welcome at home within a few days. Penelope is very sympathetic toward animals, but she has her limits. Damn good thing we had a spot in the smoking lounge for the bird or I might have had to resort to Ebay to find him a new home.

I am fascinated at the negotiated peace that has ensued between Penelope and that French firebrand Angelique. Astounded, in fact. Penelope is keeping it all a mystery. I consider the Frenchwoman to be as dangerous as a puff adder. She definitely tried to poison me when she was last in Twillingsgate, posing as a tourist...but I had my suspicions. Accordingly, Quint Rutherford's old spaniel got the poison instead. Poor thing! Well, at least he got good and drunk before he expired. (The poison was in a large glass of port. I placed it under the table, got myself another, and the dog guzzled it.) She also attempted to arrange another dangerous assignation and land me in gaol or in the grave, but I outsmarted her...just barely. Well, Penelope seems to have seen another side of Angelique when she was in Spain. It's very intriguing. I suspect I shall never know the full story on that one.

I expect you will be posted somewhere near Basra? I understand our chaps are dong quite a job there, far better than the Yanks. That does not surprise me in the least. Well, best of luck then, and be sure to keep us informed at all times.

Best regards,


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