My sweet dear boy Shiney,

Has smelling your brothers butt so long got your brain all poo-pooed? Don't you understand that the harmony of marriage cannot be sanctified without love and unity. You propose marriage to me without even a statement of the size of your wiggler and think I will marry you.

Let me make a proposal to you first, my sweet dear; answer my questions and let me consider your proposal.
1. Will we raise nightcrawlers or worms for our living?
2. Will you promise to paint the trailer every 15 years if it needs it or not?
3. Will you grow the potatos and corn and keep the still in sanitary and good operating order?
4. Will you promise to make me laugh everyday by doing a chicken dance with the roosters barenaked?
5. Will you tell me about your manhood and is your brothers bigger?
6. Will you brush your teeth at least once a week?
7. Will you cry with me when I'm sad, laugh with me when I'm happy, warm me when I'm cold, feed me when I'm hungry, and love me when I'm horny?
8. Can we have rocking chairs on the porch and drink home-made wine, wrestle in the lawn and eat monkey and swine?
9. Do you expect me to make you a cambric shirt?
10. Will you plan spontaneous trips to places unknown and swim with the beavers, ride the camels and ostriches, climb in the trees of Borneo with the orangutan, sleep with the rhinos , catpult with the eagles, and play accordion with the orchestra?

My Sweet-Shiney, Answer me these questions and I'll let you know if you have my love forever.
Yours truly, Rusty Krebill