(black velvet band)

I i was filling up with gas, while in texas
A witness to crime i was found
gazing upon an id-iot,
my eyes were drawn, from the dry dusty ground
There before me, god only love him
was a half witted oaf of a man
demanding a fee of 200 dollars
with a pepper spray can in his hand

and his brightness shone out like dull diamonds
Would any-one ever please mind him
He fled from the store with his ransom galore
leaving his wallet and ID be-hind him

His brother was working in Minneapolis
Turning his hand to the trade,
but stupidity runs in your making lads
and he couldn't keep up the charade
He was halfwitted, inbred and stupid
matching himself with one other
The two thickest crooks in the u s of a
Him and his wee texas brother

And their brightness shone out like dull diamonds
would any-one ever please mind them
if there's a cotton wool bars in america's jails
They'd both be safer behind them

This lad keen on getting his money
scooped it up with both hands,
dis arming himself of his akward old gun
and played straight into the shop clerks hands,
he fled forgetting his weapon,
but returned to claim what was his
and on his way out, the second time
he met the local sherriff

(altogether)
And the brightness shone out .................

It's a start anyway :o)