30 years ago or so I was being driven slowly crazy by Rolf Harris' recording of 'Two Little Boys'. In a desperate attempt to exorcise it, I wrote a parody to the same tune:
Ten Little Toes
Words by Barrie Roberts
Two little boys had two little toys,
Each had a crosscut saw,
Gaily they played at sawing away
And the ripped and they tore,
Till poor little Jack had a fearful mishap,
Which chopped off his lefthand leg,
And he hobbled about, screaming and shouting,
Till his young playmate said....
'Did you think I would leave you hobbling?'
And he sawed off the right leg too,
'Climb up here, Jack, a bit of cobbling
And you'll be just as good as new.
When we grow up we'll both be lumberjacks
And we'll hack down the trees in rows,
Do you think we will ever remember, Jack,
When you had ten little toes?'
Long years past, lumberjacks at last
Both of the lads became,
Chopping away until one fatal day
When the forest was all aflame.
Joe got caught, struggled and fought,
But he could not get away,
He'd resigned himself to a fiery death
When he heard Jack say...
'Did you think I would leave you frying?'
And he hacked off Joes legs too,
'Climb up here, Joe, and lets be going,
For my tin feet'll see us through,
You see that I'm all a-trembling,
Do you think its the fires glow?
No, Joe, I'm remembering
When I had ten little toes'.
Trust this paen to brotherly affection fits the canon.