No, Bunn! You can't wait until May 6th to come back! You'll have to at least check in on May 5th because that is

MOM'S BIRTHDAY!!!

And a lollapalooza it will be! I've already put the cake in the oven. It's a giant cupcake with "EAT ME!" written on it using chocolate-covered peanuts (Mom's favorite). Khing khandu has released the Royal Dancing Tarts from their regular duties so they may come over here to the MOAB and "entertain" us. They've even rescheduled the Pelahatchee Goat Fuck Roast to coincide with the big day. The Beatles are going to stage a reunion concert in Mom's honor! Not just Paul and Ringo, the dead guys too! Bob Dylan's going to sing a song in which you can actually understand the words! There should be a new pope elected by then to preside over the ceremonies, but if there isn't, John Paul II has promised to get up one last time to do the job! And both Tweed and CarolC will not play the accordian!