Hi! I'm Liza! That's with a long "i" as in Ms Minelli. Did I spell that correctly? Who cares? I never cared for the bitch anyway, Her mom was too cool, but Liza was just a wannabee. Wow! I'm saying "was" as if the bitch was dead or something. She's not, is she? I don't know for sure. All I know is, like, when's the last time anyone heard anything from her? Maybe she is dead. Who cares?

Anyway, I'm trying to find my so-called boyfriend Ferd and I heard he was hangin' around here pretending to be an alien or something. Yeah, that's right... Go ahead and say it... "Oh! He's Ferd, and you're Liza! If you have a baby, will you name it Ferd'liza?" Yuck, yuck, har, har. Get a life!

Anyway, if you see that worthless sack of shit, tell him supper's on the table and to get his sorry ass home.

And if this is supposed to be a folk music place, why are there ads for CDs by Yes at the bottom of this page? They so very suck. If they gave, like, an award for stupid songs with lame-ass lyrics there wouldn't be any need for anyone else to attend the ceremony. Just give 'em all to Yes. Wouldn't even have to have a banquet or anything. Just take 'em to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.