Is this the start of Millennium Madness, a whole thread on Rick Fielding?
Rick is pretty busy rehearsing right now, he's working on some new material for tomorrow night, but I did interrupt to tell him what you were saying, and that he should probably defend himself.
Now, on this nickname thing - what have you started Michael? Bonnie, I must respectfully reject God - there'd be no living with him.
As to McKnees suggestion, I think Turkeyman needs some explanation, she really does think quite well of him, or so she says.
We moved into this house in November and three weeks later my sister, the lovely McKnees, came to visit for Christmas. We had invited about ten people over for dinner and Rick, who does most of the cooking, was determined this was going to be his best Christmas turkey ever, he really wanted to impress McKnees who is a terrific cook. The problem is, this is the first time we'd used this oven, which in retrospect was a great mistake.
He put the Turkey in the oven about an hour or so before they all arrived, at which time there should have been a wonderful smell filling the kitchen. Well, there wasn't, so with McKnees and two other notable cooks looking on he checked on the bird. It was decidedly pale. He put it back and turned up the heat. We all had another drink and waited. Rick is quite disturbed at this point.
Half an hour later, there's been no change to this bird. Rick and three guest cooks decide the oven isn't working, they each take a turn twiddling the knobs but the oven is stuck on broil, and the turkey is still cold. Rick is getting really upset.
What to do, we have another drink and console ourselves that at least we have lots of veggies. Then, Tina has a bright idea and calls her friend Lorraine, who lives two streets over. Lorraine says sure, bring the turkey over they've already had dinner.
Rick and Tina pile into the car with the Turkey and drive to Lorraine's, where the whole family looks on with interest and a lot of laughter as they put it in the oven. They come back, we have another drink and wait.
Fifteen minutes later Lorraine calls to say she thinks she knows what's wrong with our oven, she tells Rick how to twiddle the knobs correctly and, lo and behold, it works and the oven is red hot in no time, and so is Rick, with embarrassment!
Now we have to get our turkey back. Rick and Tina refuse to pick it up so Mose and I go to get it. Everybody is really laughing now, they're rolling on the floor as we walk in to collect our Christmas dinner. Unfortunately, we'd overlooked the fact that the turkey had been cooking and was now hot, and we hadn't brought protective gear. We borrow oven gloves, hoots of laughter, Lorraine puts a towel under the tray, more laughter. We march out holding out heads high, and run for the car.
The turkey goes back into it's righful oven, it begins to brown, we have another drink and open the presents.
An hour later, dinner was served! It may not have been the best turkey, though by now who could tell, but as Rick had promised, he'd made McKnees a Christmas dinner she'd never forget.