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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,daylia BS: Popular Views of Gr. White North Hosers! (85* d) RE: BS: Popular Views of Gr. White North Hosers! 04 Aug 05

Well I don't live there but I still get it! Things ain't much different here in deepwoods Ontari-ari-o. Especially once you get north of the Soo. Just ask WAsteD in WAwa.

As a Mother of 3 young Hosers, I've observed certain stylistic changes in Great Canadian Hosiery over the years though. For a greater understanding of the Modern Evolution of the Great Canadian Hoser, please consider the following;

1. Hosers today are alot lazier, alot more hi-tech. Rather than battling bugs, bears, bogs, empty beer coolers and/or Ministry boobs, they seem to much prefer lounging contently in front of their idiot-boxes with their PlayStations, hunting down cyber-moose and/or casting for cyber-walleye. Consequently, your average Hoser today sports a milky-white neck rather than the formerly standard red one. And Hoser-guts start spilling over the belt well before age 21 these days too.

2. Tobacco smokin' Hosers are now the minority, especially in the under-30 crowd. But don't let this worry you - other smokables seem to be just as popular as ever! Most smoke-free Hosers today make up for their disloyalty to Tobacco by mowing down truly phenomenal amounts of Miss Vickies, Bits 'n Bites etc instead.

3. Rather than bothering with all the expense and trouble of building their own monster trucks, today's Hoser creates fantastic computer-generated vehicles for the sole purpose of racing/abusing/demolishing same in the comfort of their air-conditioned living rooms. ANd they don't even hafta bother with insurance or cops or Vehicle Permits etc! Pretty cool, eh?

4. Drunken Hosers seem to be becoming an increasingly rare species as well. Especially Young Drunken Hosers in the driver's seat. Today's typical young Hosers are often seen passing on the Molson's in favour of ice caps, Gatorade, SoBe's, pop, even bottled water.

Example - one of my own young Hosers spent about 6 months working in Banff, without a car. When I went out there for a visit, thus giving him access to a vehicle for the first time in months - where did he want to drive that very night? Not to the Beer Store or the LCBO (there ARE a couple of those in Banff) - but to Timmy's! He said he'd been without a Timmy's for MONTHS. Been visiting that drive-thru in Canmore (20 minutes away) in his dreams instead. I could really flippin relate ... so I flipped him the flippin keys and off he flippin went. And nursed that large ice cap with chocolate milk for HOURS afterwards as I recall ...

Anyway, that's all the Evolutionary Hoser Data I can come up with right now. Feel free to add to the list if you like!

All my very best to all you Hosers - young, mediocre, cracked, plugged up, ancient or whatever. And may your Cosmic Couplings always be Leak-free!


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