...where they will be engaging in lurid, satanic practices, and plotting the overthrow of Western civilization! Yes, it's all true! And you can read about it in Hector Ballsworthy's Independent Press, available now at progressive newstands all over the U.K.
Read about the vile, unspeakable, and heretofore totally secret rites of this group of radical degenerates who pose as "roots musicians"! Read about the central power group of depraved individuals who control the membership through a combination of threats, thuggery, and mind control! Read about their secret connections to the Royal Family, the Lizard people, the Twillingsgate Triad, and the mind-sucking aliens of Krith!
Read about it while there is still time to stop it! Yes, my friends, it's worse than you thought, but there is still time to stop "Punch the Horse", a front group for the most corrupt and dangerous band of deviant, soul-destroying monsters that ever crawled forth from the pit of madness!
And remember our motto:
"THE TRUTH WILL OUT!"
I am Hector Ballsworthy, for the Independent Press, the voice of sanity in a world spiralling out of control!