Penelope Rutledge! Without question. She is the hottest volcano of barely suppressed passion that ever lived. When she canters by on her jet black stallion, I shiver uncontrollably in all my limbs and appendages. She is the Apha and Omega of lust, all wrapped up fetchingly in a sophisticated and seemingly cool outer package that entices even as it refuses. Take note that the word "rut" refers to a sexual frenzy into which certain animals fall seasonally. This is no coincidence! To "rut" is the same as to shag. I have it on good authority that her orgasms have caused earth tremors as far away as the Isle of Wight, and on at least one occasion caused serious damage to the historic ruins at Stonehenge. The reason that the Rutledge mansion is so large is that it must be to contain all that raging sexual energy. The woman is unquenchable. Were it possible to harness her energies for public use we could meet the entire U.K.'s energy needs easily into the next millennium.

Thomas Swayne