http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Koala_Bears

Koala Bears
From Uncyclopedia

The koala is a small bear-like animal which lives in most parts of Australia, as well as some other parts of the world (I think). A small fraction of the thousands of koalas spend their lives sitting at the tops of tall trees in bushland sleeping or eating gumnuts. But most koalas are incredibly aggressive and will attack any unfortunate person who happens to get in their way.

Koalas have been known to hide in the tops of trees in bushland, then jump down when they see hikers passing by, landing on top of them and ripping their brains out.

This year alone 90 hikers have been killed by koalas. Last year, in 2004, 220 people in total were killed. 180 were killed in 2003. Now in 2005 the death rate has at least tripled in Austrailia as well as in china and parts of New Mexico. Those stupid bastard need to be caught.

It has been advised by the Australian government that all hikers should carry a semi-automatic rifle or a similar projectile-firing device when hiking in bushland. But this idea may not nessicarily be better.

A few months ago, a large group of about fifteen koalas attacked a group of five hikers who were hiking in the bushland of Western Australia. The hikers had two shotguns between them. The koalas killed all of the hikers, then stole their guns.

A few months later, the same koalas used the two shotguns to rob a bank in the city of Perth in Western Australia, near where the koalas had killed the hikers. They stole about $100 million Australian dollars. The koalas escaped before police arrived and were never found again.


WOW!!!! Those are some fierce marsupials!